Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
