you win again, gameday.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
