the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
