so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
