you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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