Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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