Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
