Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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