some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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