no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
