Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
