I hate all girls vehemently.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
