Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize