so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
