I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
