I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
