Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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