i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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