I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
