Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
