I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
