Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
