he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
40s are totally the cure
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
