Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
