Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
