everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
