are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
