She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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