Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
