You were right. It hurts to walk today.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
