Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
