Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
