So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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