My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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