p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
