Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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