he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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