we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
