Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
