I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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