kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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