it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
