Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
