i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize