so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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