You're completely useless in the revolution.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
