I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
