What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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