That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
