you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
