I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
