He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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