he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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