The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
