I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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