It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
