oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
