Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
