Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
