Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
