I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize