Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
