he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
