I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
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