so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
