So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
